After a really busy day at work and then teaching a yoga class, person comes home to this: three dogs (Velvet has decided she needs a time out and takes herself out for a breath of fresh air.... without a leash or a person) jumping up on her like they are, OMG, starving because dinner is 38 minutes late! They jump up, bark, do circles, rip persons yoga pants with nails that are overgrown and neglected, and if they spoke would say "you bitch, you left us here all day with these jacked up cats and you should see what THEY did in their room!"
Little does the person know that anything has happened as she is trying to coax Velvet into coming inside for diii-nneerr. Yes, that is how it is pronounced. No luck on Velvet so the other three get fed and then the cats come out to remind the person that they need their diii-nneerr. Not that she has forgotten because Gus will not touch his food if there isn't any of the wet cat food stirred into his bowl. It only has to be one tiny morsel of cat food, but if it isn't in there, he knows and refuses to eat. Wish more humans were that picky.
As she enters the cat room barefoot without turning on the light, the person steps on something wet, cold,and stick like. Ewwww, was the first thing that came out of her mouth as the cats were standing on top of the dresser where they are fed acting as innocent as O.J. Not working, cats! Give me the glove!
Their person flies toward the light switch and in the newly lit room finds parts. Not just a couple of parts, but lots of parts and tons of feathers strewn across the room like those two 6 pound cats were on steriods and had a pillow fight; but the pillows were still on the bed with their cases on. As she bends down to suss out the situation, Leila and Quinn (BAD CATS) hop off the dresser to guide their person through the crime scene.
Hey mom, here is the spine with the heart still attached to some flimsy thing that we weren't interested in eating! And look over here, the head is mauled but the beak, we didn't touch the beak so you would know that we brought you a bird! All of a sudden, Leila throws her body down and starts rolling around in a big pile of feathers as Quinn, still struting around the room, is very enamored with their conquest for the day. Why is the person crying? Leila gets up with feathers all over her back and comes to console her. Let me just sit in your lap and purr so you will feel better. Quinn comes over and wants to say "but we did this for YOU!"
Scratches on the front door, Velvet is home and she could give a shit about the bird or the cats. She is ready for dii-nneeer!
The bird is now in a plastic shopping bag, pieces, parts and all in the garbage can outside. Needless to say, the dogs are in favor tonight, even Velvet.
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